Owens bringing his surreal life to minicamp

By Anthony Bialy  |   Thursday, May 14, 2009  |  Comments( 53 )

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It’s nice of Terrell Owens to visit the Buffalo Bills, especially considering he works for them. His planned appearance at the team’s voluntary minicamp starting Monday is such a momentous occasion that it’s being captured visually: VH1 will be filming Owens’ practice excursion for his upcoming documentary-type show on the network, considering the one thing he needs is more attention.

Still, the cataloging of his doings could unwittingly work to the franchise’s advantage. It’s reasonable to fear that Owens’ unreal take on reality will degenerate into clownish spectacle. But the process of putting him onscreen could actually keep him in line.

Dr. Drew may not be on board, but Owens’ program is nonetheless just a different version of “Celebrity Rehab.” This show couldn’t be a more obvious attempt to rectify his image, although a more effective method would be to not scream at coaches, feud with teammates, spit on opponents, or participate in awkwardly mortifying celebrations after scoring six points.

What’s amazing is that someone with two publicists has been so oblivious of how the public perceives him. Owens is occasionally referred to as a locker room cancer, but that’s partly inaccurate; after all, some cancers go into remission. General Sherman has left a tidier path than the wideout has. To recap, the most recent team to cut him loose was the Dallas Cowboys, who have welcomed more wayward souls than St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage in Calumet City, Ill.

This isn’t a criminal trial where the defendant is assumed to be innocent -- thanks to his curious decision history, Owens has sunk to a nadir where he has to prove himself. But he could show he’s good on his show. Cynical types might suspect that he may start acting saintly only because a camera crew is trailing him. But that’s fine, as long as it works; if the recording process reins in his bratty tendencies, then hopefully the cynics are right.

For one, it’s already given Owens an excuse to join his team. Reality stars don’t get to loaf in their bathrobes all day, right? They have to ditch stationary tendencies and instead do stuff to make the program even marginally interesting. Traveling to Buffalo counts as an activity, and it’s not inconceivable that producers desperate for movement encouraged the player to attend the optional camp.

So, the Bills benefit. Regardless of why Owens is coming to see his new team, it’s a chance for him to get acquainted with, and practice alongside, any fellow receivers and starting quarterbacks who also elect to attend.

Owens’ starring role is good news for fans, and not just because they can make their way into his program’s background between next Sunday and Wednesday. Because Owens is apparently not a producer of his own show, his only control over how he’s portrayed is how he acts. Getting filmed may make Owens behave as admirably as he plays.

Footage of Owens' every move is the best thing that could have happened to whatever team signed him. If Owens wants to come off better than Vanilla Ice or Screech did during their respective turns on VH1’s disposable programs, he has to be nice to everyone -- including, blessedly, fellow Bills.
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CommentsComments: 53  |  Sign Up  View all comments
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No.1
8and8Forever		08:45 AM
05/14/2009
Al.B.: Slow news day I guess. This reality show thing has only downside. The minute they ask T.O. to compare the B lo to...
No.2
bflobob8		08:52 AM
05/14/2009
Blunt and Gun is one joint away from prison and missing an entre season or so. T.O. is a saint in comparison.
No.3
Kegman		08:57 AM
05/14/2009
AB - T.O. is a bright guy; if has two publicists as you claim, and any sense at all, he is very aware of how the public perceives...
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