In Buffalo, There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute

By voodoo chile  |   Wednesday, October 07, 2009  |  Comments( 102 )

Buffalo Bills
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Last season, the Bills started off unexpectedly hot, considering their prior recent performances. At the time, beating the Seahawks and Jaguars seemed like solid victories. Only later did we learn that those teams were in the throes of their own collapses. The wins over the Rams and Raiders were nearly to be expected, but were thrilling due to their late heroics (something for which the Bills are not exactly known). The win over the Chargers was a big boost, and knocking the Broncos out was very cool. Long story short: Flash in an otherwise extremely scummy pan.

At season’s end, the team was obviously in need of a #1/#2 wide receiver, a competent center, and some help to apply pressure to the opposition QB. Trent Edwards was a disturbing question mark. The Pee Wee Fewell ultrasoft Tampa 2 and the Turk Schonert unfense were distasteful. Dick Jauron was a pukish head coach, yet re-hired to every fan’s dismay.

The off season brought the Jason Peters fiasco, and another mystery free agency and draft. What did the Bills need? Replace Peters. Get a warm body to rush opponents’ QBs. Get a compliment to Lee Evans. Get a solid center.

So the Dream Team FO did what?

Maybin (?), Wood (“The New Center!”-Holy shit! They did something right! – not so fast), Byrd (?), Levitre (cool name), Shawn Nelson (not another failed tight end, everybody hopes), and et cetera.

They cut Dockery. They sign a nobody named Geoff Hangartner. THEY SIGN TERRELL OWENS !!!!!! SUPER BOWL!!!!

They sell tons of season tickets to sub-moronic wishful thinkers (better known as Bills addicts).

Whoever/whatever Maybin and Byrd are, they show up to camp too late to amount to anything (presuming they’ll ever amount to anything).

For extra fun, the FO (eFFed-up Oafs) fire Schonert and Walker (the “new Peters”) at midnight, and promote Alex Long Belt to offensive coordinator and somebody previously famous’ son to become the next Pro Bowl LT.

So…some weeks later…and, of course, throwing in some of the to-be-expected injuries…

Here we are: A laughingstock among laughingstocks.

…and worse yet: Why do I keep hearing these echoes saying: Ellis Lankster!...Nic Harris!…????

Are Bills fans so much dumber than the average fan? Talk about getting your nose rubbed in it over and over…
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