Cowboys designed to drive fantasy players insane

By Os Davis  |   Wednesday, August 23, 2006  |  Comments( 6 )

Dallas Cowboys
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Welcome to the most infuriating team in terms of fantasy football value, a team designed to drive fantasy leaguers insane: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Dallas Cowboys!

Unless you're already plugged into Madden 2007 and can't be bothered by no stinkin' fantasy league, you are no doubt hemming and hawing over filling those seven or eight spots on your imaginary roster, all the while mulling over the exact phrasing of the next trash you'll be talking in chat.

And, in your mental travails, trials and tribulations, you'll occasionally run across a Cowboy or two; boy, some of them are tempting, aren't they? Face it, they looked fantastic while demolishing the New Orleans Saints on Monday night ... Words form on your lips: "Right," you mutter, "with my second-round pick i'll take, from the Dallas Cowboys - "

Think before you say that, pilgrim. And then think some more. I have, and I've come to the inescapable conclusion that these guys have been put together solely to be a monkey wrench thrown into the fantasy football works.

First of all, of course, is Terrell Owens. The progress of T.O. since camp began, by my notes, goes something like this: He shows up, smiles a lot, gives interviews, goes on TV, has no injury, has an injury, has an MRI which reveals nothing, has no serious injury, becomes injured enough not the practice, bikes, does interviews, practices on Bill Parcells' orders, sits out the New Orleans game, and today reportedly has mysteriously attained a groin injury to go along with the again serious hamstring injury.

While owner Jerry Jones' quote about T.O.'s leg "not firing" made the rounds in the sports media, other journalists talked about "soft tissue." You want to talk soft tissue? Let's talk about the soft tissue your brain will become when it comes time to choose a receiver.

One Sports Illustrated source claims Owens has been timed much slower than typical, but that other teams are adapting their playbook to a slower T.O. Owens is that dominant. How can you pass on a gamebreaker like this? Here's a guy who, more than will publicly admit, could run up 1,000 yards receiving this year. Unless coach Parcells' gameplan doesn't call for him to. If he plays in every game. If nightmares of a worried and slower T.O. come to fruition and Owens becomes a "locker room distraction." Suddenly, a day or three after your draft is complete, Owens has fallen from No. 1 in the league to ... well, lower than that.

With T.O.'s fantasy slide comes a remake of "The Return of the Living Dead," a.k.a. the second coming of Drew Bledsoe. The QB's line of 12-of-16 for 156 yards and two TDs looks even more impressive when considering he played one half. Stats like that make Bledsoe look like late-1990s Bledsoe (or, at least, 2002 Bledsoe), when he was a fantasy football owner's fantasy. One ESPN fantasy analyst stated that Bledsoe had gone from chump to champ in one half.

Meanwhile, there's Tony Romo. Against the Saints, Romo was a ridiculous 6-of-8 for 138 yards and a TD. Except for one fumble, Romo looked great. Against the Seattle Seahawks the previous week, Romo went a ridiculous 19-of-24 for 235 yards and another TD, and looked enough like the Tuna's starter for speculation about a quarterback controversy to run rampant.

Media dreams of a battle for the starting position between Bledsoe and Romo are probably idle fantasy, but a properly paranoid fantasy owner has to wonder about just how much time Romo will take? With a fairly low-watt running game, the Cowboys will probably pass often, but this guarantees little in the stat game except attempts. Will the 'Pokes run this many short routes in the regular season? What if T.O. comes back? And what if he doesn't?

Ah, at least there's the good old Dallas defense, a unit that's been waiting a few years for the offense to catch up, right? And these guys have crushed the opposition in the preseason, right? Well, yes. But (and here's where too much thinking really begins to hurt), they don't appear to be as good in the mathematical world. In 2003, the 'Pokes were No. 1 in defense against the pass and total yardage allowed, but 27th in interceptions and middling in points allowed. In 2004, the team suddenly sunk to 29th in passing TDs and 25th in interceptions. And in 2005, they were a disappointing 17th against the run and a typical 22nd in interceptions. Perhaps the offense has caught up, but only because the D has slowed.

Maybe. An opportunity to nab the Dallas defense might be hard to pass up, especially if the Chicago Bears' is gone. Of course, this depends on how your league scores individual stats. This is not a D that will rack up a lot of sacks, and the track record in the secondary ain't good. Of course, the Dallas D will probably be on the field a lot this season. Unless Bledsoe stays on a roll. And maybe if T.O. returns...

Keep watching the Dallas Cowboys (if you can stand it) at Realfootball365.com.
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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CommentsComments: 6  |  Sign Up  View all comments
No.1
Norm		06:13 AM
08/23/2006
It's even worse than all that. How can you take Julius Jones at RB knowing that Marion Barber is due to get almost as many...
No.2
Lathe Craft		11:23 AM
08/23/2006
Alright enough complaining. Professional teams were and never will be built for the delight of a fantasy football team owner. If...
No.3
Os		11:28 AM
08/23/2006
Amen, brother. Regardless, i'm still sorely tempted to take Julius as my second-stringer... Tempting: That's the word for these...
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