Parcells cuts Vanderjagt like the Gordian knot

By Os Davis  |   Wednesday, November 29, 2006  |  Comments( 7 )

Dallas Cowboys
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Bill Parcells played Alexander the Great yesterday, solving a seemingly intractable problem with one quick cut.

Swoosh. See ya, Mike Vanderjagt.

In a move that will be mourned by not a single Dallas Cowboys backer, the Tuna dealt with possibly the final hurdle on this suddenly sharp-looking squad's run past the weak NFC to Super Bowl XLI.

And these are some major hurdles. No. 1 was the assimilation of Terrell Owens way back in the preseason. When Owens got into full T.O. mode with the Lance Armstrong outfit, Parcells demanded he be on the playing field. Parcells got his way. The coach warned all along that Owens wouldn't be a 100-catch megasuperstar in his offense. Parcells got his way. Owens is even the No. 2 wide receiver on this club right now behind former "discipline problem" Terry Glenn. And anybody remember the suicide attempt?

Hurdle No 2: Oh, just that minor difficulty of, um, replacing the quarterback. If history shows that Tony Romo is in fact what he appears to be right now - the second coming of Tom Brady - the only criticism Parcells will get for the move is for tardiness. The smart money right now says that Parcells waited until the last possible moment and got away with the Romo substitution. In hindsight, of course, the move seemed obvious all along: Look what happened to the Patriots when they replaced Drew Bledsoe at QB...

The switch to Romo has paid off huge, with the Cowboys most recently cruising through a 38-10 win over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Thanksgiving. The team's report card for the Turkey Day game (and really over the past five weeks) looks something like: Quarterback, A+; running game, A; receivers, A; secondary, A; defensive line, A. Even the O-line appears to be breathing with Romo helping make them look good. Everything was perfect against the Bucs -- and against the Indianapolis Colts ... except the kicking.

What to do about this unsolvable problem? Be done with it!

Once billed as "the most accurate kicker in league history," Vanderjagt hit just 13 of 18 this season for the Cowboys. Twice Vanderjagt blew attempts against the Colts when all points were to be considered clutch, and Vanderjagt's blocked try in the Washington game set off the bizarre sequence that made for Dallas' most disturbing loss in recent memory. On top of this was his reputation as a head case weird enough to make T.O. look like Tom Landry.

In order to shed some dead weight (and $2.5 million worth of Jerry Jones' money due to an outrageous signing bonus given Vanderjagt) while clearing the Cowboys' house of the sole remaining possible distraction, Parcells had Vanderjagt cut. Surely, no one will miss him except for those who delight in the schadenfreude of cruel nicknames. Yes, we'll surely miss Vanderjerk, Vandershank, Shankenstein...

Parcells, earlier openly pondered to be losing it, past his prime, no longer playoff-hardy a month ago or so, is now demonstrating his management abilities.

Now that these major hurdles have been cleared and Martin Gramatica has been signed as kicker, only one more tiny little Gordian knot remains for the master: Finding a game plan that requires never having to attempt a field goal.

Can Martin Gramatica the missing piece for the Dallas Cowboys? Stay tuned to RealFootball365.com...
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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CommentsComments: 7  |  Sign Up  View all comments
No.1
Norm		07:11 AM
11/29/2006
We don't know that M. Gramatica will have limited utility. When was the last time he missed two FGs in a game? But we do know...
No.2
Andy Targovnik		12:03 PM
11/29/2006
I'm not a big fan of this move. Nobody was knocking down Gramatica's door so he would have been available two weeks from now....
No.3
fr8ttrain		02:47 PM
11/29/2006
Don't give the Cowboys the Super Bowl ring yet. I thought Vanderjagt would do better, and who says he wouldnt hit the next 10 out...
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