Dolphins offseason short on news, long on drama

By Joe Mayes  |   Wednesday, April 16, 2008  |  Comments( 0 )

Miami Dolphins
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It’s official: There is absolutely no Dolphins offseason news left to report.

Whenever a team wins just one game, it’s going to be a long offseason. Sure, there was the excitement of a new front office, the promise that comes with a new coaching staff, bidding farewell to a longtime fan favorite in Zach Thomas, and even a court jester dancing to provide entertainment for the masses.

But now the well has officially run dry.

There’s been the occasional run-in with the law to liven things up -- Matt Roth arrested in February for public intoxication, Channing Crowder being cited for allegedly running his truck into a tree before leaving the scene of the accident, and Reagan Mauia was arrested April 11 and charged with misdemeanor battery. But the NBA even trumped Miami's offseason legal woes when Denver’s Carmello Anthony was cited for driving under the influence in the midst of the Nuggets battling for the eighth playoff spot in the Western Conference.

So even the Dolphins' bad news is back-page stuff.

New football capo di tutti capi (not his official title) Bill Parcells made something of a splash early in free agency, though most of the signings were like bringing vanilla ice cream to Ben & Jerry’s birthday party. Just not a whole lot to get excited about.

The only real spice of the offseason has been the ongoing saga of injured defensive end/linebacker-cum-dancer Jason Taylor, who proved Gloria Estefan prophetic once more when the rhythm did, in fact, get him. Most recently, after “visiting” Miami's locker room to lose a few bucks playing poker with Dan Marino and the fellas, Taylor wrote in ESPN the Magazine that, “now that I'm back in L.A., I realize I don't miss Miami.”

Just the sort of thing Bill Parcells was hoping to hear from his defensive leader coming off a 1-15 season, surely.

Fortunately, there’s some real football news on the horizon. The NFL holds its annual draft/debutante ball on April 26-27 and the Dolphins hold the No. 1 overall pick. Unfortunately, there is no consensus No. 1 talent in this year’s draft and Tom Condon and Marvin Demoff are playing a high-stakes game of duck-duck-goose to determine which of their clients will end up accepting what will likely be a low-ball offer from Parcells and company.

And if recent news reports are to be believed, Michigan tackle Jake Long has already begun praying to be a duck.

Yes, it’s been a long, painful offseason for Miami fans and there’s no real assurance that the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t yet another train. Hope springs eternal, but it won’t be until Sept. 7, when the Dolphins strap on the pads and open against their division rival New York Jets, that fans will see whether the pain was worth it.
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About Joe Mayes

Joe Mayes is an award-winning writer with credits ranging from national sports columns to local newspapers and commercial and technical writing. Joe is the host of "The Morning Wrap," a morning drive-time sports talk radio show on WTKE-FM in Northwest Florida.
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