Dolphins’ chances slim against New England

By Joe Mayes  |   Wednesday, September 17, 2008  |  Comments( 11 )

Miami Dolphins
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How bad are the Dolphins?

Try “historically bad.” Not only did they become one of only eight teams in NFL history to lose 15 games in a single season, they were the only one of those clubs to open the next year with two more defeats. The early 1980s Saints, a truly pathetic bunch, began their post-15-loss season with a failure in Week 1 of the '81 campaign, then won their next game.

To find a team that followed up a historically terrible year with two losses to open the next season, you would have to go all the way back to perhaps the worst club in the history of sports: the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. John McKay’s team followed its 0-14 showing in 1976 with 12 consecutive losses in '77, leading to McKay’s legendary (albeit apocryphal) response when asked about the execution of his team’s offense.

“I’m all for it.”

Given the fact that the Dolphins have followed their year of ignominy with back-to-back losses in 2008, head coach Tony Sparano may just find himself agreeing with McKay regarding his own team’s execution.

This is the company in which the once-proud Miami franchise finds itself: The Dolphins aren't just in the exclusive 15-loss fraternity, but they're approaching legendarily inept.

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Perhaps, and the Dolphins could find that light as early as this Sunday. However, it’s likely to be just another freight train in the form of the defending AFC champion New England Patriots.

Dating back to the end of 2006, the 2-0 Patriots have won 21 consecutive regular-season games. And despite the loss of future Hall of Fame quarterback Tom Brady in the first quarter of the their Week 1 victory over Kansas City, the Patriots beat the Chiefs before defeating the Jets, 19-10, last Sunday.

Even the loss of Brady brings little solace for Dolphin fans. Since backup quarterback Matt Cassel took over the offense, he has completed 70.7 percent of his passes (29 of 41) for 317 yards (7.7 yards per attempt), one TD and no interceptions on his way to an efficiency rating of 101.4.

In other words, New England’s backup passer -- a young man with exactly one post-high school start -- outperformed Dolphins starter Chad Pennington against a common opponent.

However, Cassel’s performance and the fact that Miami has looked abysmal thus far have done little to temper the optimism of at least one Dolphin.

When asked about his team's chances against the Cassel-led Pats, linebacker Joey Porter responded, “I just know he's not a Tom Brady,” Porter said. “So if it's not Tom Brady, it shouldn't be that hard.”

The Patriots -- again, 21-0 in their last 21 regular-season contests -- defeated the Dolphins -- 1-20 in that span -- twice in 2007, amassing 77 points to Miami's 35. Yet the Mouth that Bored said, “It'll be good to go out there and get our first victory.”

Historically bad and quite possibly even delusional.

With New England tied for second in the NFL in points allowed, surrendering just 10 per game, and Miami ranked 28th in the league, scoring only 12, look for the Dolphins' offense to struggle once again. Miami will likely be playing from behind, meaning its anemic running attack (29th in the league with barely over 60 yards per game and 30th in yards per attempt, with a mere 3.0) will probably not see much action again this week.

And while the Dolphins have had some success throwing the ball so far this year, averaging 196 aerial yards per game (14th in the NFL), New England is allowing only 167 per tilt (good for 10th).

Which means this will probably be another long, frustrating day when Miami travels to Foxborough, Mass., on Sunday.

Even Las Vegas sees virtually no way for the Dolphins to defeat New England, installing the Patriots as 12.5-point favorites this week, the gambling equivalent of tying a pork chop around the Miami's neck to get the gambling dogs to play with them.

So, when it comes right down to making a prediction for the Dolphins-Pats game, Clubber Lang perhaps summed it up best.

Pain.

Of course, Rocky Balboa beat Clubber Lang, but that was Hollywood. The Dolphins have to play the Patriots for real this weekend. And “pain” is probably as accurate a prediction as there is.

Official prediction: Patriots 35, Miami 14.
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About Joe Mayes

Joe Mayes is an award-winning writer with credits ranging from national sports columns to local newspapers and commercial and technical writing. Joe is the host of "The Morning Wrap," a morning drive-time sports talk radio show on WTKE-FM in Northwest ...
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