Incredible Parcells hiring brings Dolphins credibility

By Anthony Bialy  |   Friday, December 21, 2007  |  Comments( 4 )

Miami Dolphins
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Dolphins fans, here's your Christmas miracle: There's evidence that, even as it rots two games behind the league's other bottom-feeders, the 1-13 team isn't the worst franchise on Earth. Namely, Bill Parcells taking over as Miami's head of football operations after rejecting the Falcons' offer means that at least he thinks Atlanta is in relatively worse shape. In the same way that consumers vote for the best stores by opening their wallets at some places and leaving others deserted, the celebrated but contentious Parcells bolted Georgia as soon as he came across a better deal one state below.

His decision may have to do with the fact that Atlanta has scored a league-worst 13.4 points per game this season, which makes Miami's average of 16.8 points a contest look relatively muscular. It might also revolve around the thoroughly unctuous Arthur Blank, the Falcons' miserable coaching-related turmoil, or the fact that their most prominent player will spend 23 months making 11 cents an hour in the metal shop as opposed to playing professional football. Whatever it is, the Dolphins landed a legend for their front office if for no other reason than they're less messed up than the Falcons, which is at least something upon which to build.

But first, wait for the ink to dry. Parcells changes his mind about jobs the same way some people change their minds about pizza toppings. While the choice between sausage and ham might affect your enjoyment of dinner, the former coach has been rather cavalier about revoking commitments regarding job offers that alter both his life and that of the franchise in question.

Another Florida team is accustomed to this, as he's bailed on the Tampa Bay head coaching position twice, once in the burnt orange era and again before they finally landed Jon Gruden. Throw in the 17 or so times he's resigned for good, and we have a portrait of a renter instead of a buyer. The moral is that everyone should wait until Parcells appears at a Dolphins-sponsored press conference before considering this official, and then wait another week after that.

One who won't bother to wait regarding future-related contemplation will be Cam Cameron, who did this team's necessary dirty work and will apparently be rewarded by having to worry about his job status the week before Christmas. Discarding veterans and horrid draft picks of previous staffs has obviously been an unpleasant task, and Cameron will have, at best, a 3-13 record to show for it.

And that's if this team beats both Cincinnati and New England, one of which is faintly possible and the other of which would cause the oceans to boil, so he has to hope tossing dead weight overboard counts for more than this team losing either seven or 15 times as many games as it wins. Will Parcells want to bring in his own guy? Is Parcells' "own guy" himself? We'll have to see if Cameron's new superior is impressed enough by this year's changes to be placated.

The thing is that there are slivers of hope regarding the next campaign. Assuming Ronnie Brown recovers, Ted Ginn Jr. is more thoroughly integrated into the game plan, the offensive line continues to make progress, and that John Beck can start playing as if he's held a football before as opposed to his unfortunate display this season, the offense should be more proficient in 2008.

Throw in likely a surefire first overall draft pick, and fans can justly believe that next season will be better. Not to be smart-alecky, but a worse showing would be somewhere between tricky and impossible. Still, this team does possess some promising young players, and the mere presence of the new vice president enhances the case for optimism.

Of course, Parcells is known for having improved the record for every team he's coached. Particularly, defensive players have excelled under his leadership; this could be good news for Joey Porter, who made his name causing havoc in the same style 3-4 defenses Parcells prefers. Why a team that was employing a 4-3 signed a poor fit like Porter in the first place may remain a mystery, but similarly odd moves ought to become rarer with a force like Parcells around.

Regardless of his title, Parcells will be the dominant voice in the franchise's offices. For that reason alone, the worst season in team history may have a happy ending, even without the fun of post-game media confrontations from a man who makes answering questions an awkward blast to watch. Miami supporters will have to settle for YouTubing Parcells' finest clips as coach for now and know that he'll be imposing his will upon his new team in private.
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