An open letter to Donovan McNabb

By Os Davis  |   Wednesday, October 04, 2006  |  Comments( 5 )

Philadelphia Eagles
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Dear Donovan McNabb,

I hate you. How could you be so absolutely brilliant in a game you could have coasted through?

Damn, you played well. Your Philadelphia Eagles, despite all the fears of what injuries might do to the 'D' and, particularly, the secondary, look cool, calm and collected going into a must-win against the Dallas Cowboys.

So why do I hate you, Donovan? Because you killed my fantasy league team!

(Hey, if Tony Kornheiser can milk this shtick ad infinitum on Monday Night Football, I can work it for a column once.)

It's easy for you, Donovan; you're just trying to live up to your expectations of the "Super Bowl team" you envisioned at the beginning of the year. And you're starting to convince everyone that you can bring this team back to the Big Dance, with your complete and utter destruction of an overmatched Green Bay Packers secondary. But come on, share a little bit of the glory.

I mean, here were the mighty Wizards of Os (2-1 entering the week) of the RealFootball365 fantasy league, right near the top of the standings and coming off a 100-point week. After Sunday, buoyed by the same Chicago Bears defense that's been demolishing my opposition and the NFL's, the Wizards had a 36-point over the dreaded and undefeated Psychos. I envisioned my guys 3-1 before MNF, having delusions of competing for RF365 Bowl I, calculating McNabb needed something like four TDs and 300 yards.

Why did you have to be so good, Donovan?

Your passing game was as smooth as ever, but the running? Wait a minute, Donovan, hasn't anyone told you that you don't do that any more? I mean, there it was on the screen, courtesy of ESPN: Twenty-eight straight games rushing under 50 yards. Fifty-five yards all of last year. To be fair, you did manage "only" 47, but in this game you had to add two heads-up hustling touchdowns. Not one, two.

Two rushing touchdowns in one game? Do you realize you've never done that before? Can you do this any time or only when you have such serious mismatches in the middle of the field?

In the end, you passed for two TDs, ran for those other two, added a respectable line of 16-of-30 for 288 yards, and didn't even have the decency to throw an interception. It was all worth a total of 37 fantasy points. Psychos over the Wizards by two.

Thirty-seven points, Donovan! Nobody gets 37 points. You just had to save one of the best performances of the week for me and the poor ol' Pack. Well, thanks. Now, the Wizards are a lowly middle-of-the-pack 2-2, Green Bay's 1-3, and everything's firing on all four cylinders for your guys. If Philly can continue to play at this level and the NFC isn't careful, the green-and-silver may just push their way through to Super Bowl XLI.

But why'd you have to be so good on this particular week? I hate you, Donovan McNabb.


Os Davis

P.S. Brilliant game, Donovan, really excellent. Good luck against the Cowboys (and the Kendall Dogs of the RF365FL)!

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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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CommentsComments: 5  |  Sign Up  View all comments
07:42 AM
Talk about one of the most exciting performances in recent memory. Sorry Os that my Psychos had to win in that fashion. I'll...
11:56 AM
My fantasy football team, the Repeat Offenders, 4-0. Quarterback, Donovan McNabb. Sucka's.
08:01 PM
You're not kidding, check out my fantasy line-up: QB: McNabb, Carr RB: Portis, Westbrook, Maroney WR: Galloway, R. Brown, Re....
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