Don’t worry be happy: Positivity from Lions land

By Os Davis  |   Wednesday, April 09, 2008  |  Comments( 0 )

Detroit Lions
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The last bastion of optimism in Detroit Lions land is in cyberspace: With the diligence and tenacious insistence do the prospective PR Hall of Famers at the team's official website daily somehow manage to apply a happy spin on the untenable situation that is Detroit Lions football.

Earlier in the week, good ol’ DetroitLions.com was running the poll question, “Which offensive change will make the greatest impact in 2008?”

Notice the subtle genius applying optimism there. Note that the query implies both that there will be change in the Detroit offense in 2008 and that an impact will be made. “Why not?” rhetorically asks the cheery Lions fan (Surely some exist; maybe even a few younger than 60), “After all, we’ve promoted Jim Colletto to offensive coordinator from line coach, where he lorded over the unit that allowed 117 sacks the past two seasons. Um...”

As to offered positive answers to the “deep impact” – sorry, “greatest impact” question – the list, in order of response, ended up looking like this:

46% Dedication to the run game
18% Zone blocking
17% Higher number of shallow QB drops
11% Play action
8% “Bread-and-butter” plays

Looking at the list and imagining the intelligent hardened cynicism borne by Lions backers, it’s no wonder “dedication to the run game” finished with nearly half the votes. After all, a little bit of said dedication might have been useful last season: Going into 2008, the Lions found themselves with three seemingly capable running backs after Kevin Jones returned from the Lisfranc Zone more quickly than expected while free agents T.J. Duckett and Tatum Bell joined the club in the off-season.

The result? An increase of 159 yards in the running attack year-on-year and, as DetroitLions.com might have it, the league’s 31st-most potent offense.

For 2008, Bell chose not to re-up while Jones was released. The ball has been put into the hands of Bell, who spent the majority of last season disgruntled and benchwarming. Bell’s got one year left on his contract with Detroit and seems likely to move on, another dead-end investment for the Lions offense, a la Jones and three-quarters of the receiving corps this decade.

It’s OK for now, though: “I’m happy to be back,” said Bell in an interview with ... ah, you know.

As for the remaining improvements DetroitLions.com expects to see, well, this writer’s no optimist. While zone blocking may have worked in limited fashion for the similarly notorious, direction-less, bad Oakland Raiders line, which decreased its sack allowance from an insane 72 in 2006 to 41 last year, don’t forget that the man leading the scheme in Detroit will be Colletto.

Play action might help, but when continually playing from behind, it’s damn difficult to get the opponent to bite on the fake run outside of, say, the “pro” level setting in Madden. (The Lions ranked dead last in rushing attempts in 2007; ditto 2006.)

A higher number of shallow QB drops might be nice, but nicer still might be less pressing need to put Jon Kitna on the run so damn often: again see, “offensive line, crumbling of.” Also, a large health insurance policy should be taken on Kitna ASAP to cover the losses should God not intervene to cure his next concussion.

Finally, there’s “bread-and-butter plays,” another bit of stunning DetroitLions.com positivity and news to most of those outside of Detroit: The Lions have bread-and-butter plays! They must be talking about the screen for two yards on second-and-10 or the desperate on-the-move heave to Roy Williams on third-and-long.

But all these words of woe and sarcasm mean nothing, cause the folks at the team ‘site do what they’re doing well. Today’s headlines read “Lions DBs Continue Offseason Progress” and “Players with a Hunger to Get Back on the Field.” (I think the latter’s meant to be positive...) And it’s only early April; excellent!

Here’s to hoping that once the Millen Era is over and NFL parity finds its way to Michigan, the ladies and gents accentuating the positive at DetroitLions.com can move on to less demanding work: Like in the McCain Administration media relations department.

What a wonderful world throughout the year at RealFootball365.com
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's ...
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