Dispatch from Alternate Universe: On The Fish That Saved Detroit

By Os Davis  |   Monday, June 16, 2008  |  Comments( 3 )

Detroit Lions
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As Detroit looks to close out yet another championship season – the city’s eighth title in the past three years – over the Los Angeles Lakers in that other sport, RealFootball365.com takes a look back at those amazing Lions on the eve of a decade of greatness.

Now, sure, you’re saying, “Another piece about Detroit sports?” or “Haven’t we heard enough about the Lions for one lifetime?” or even "#$*$!@!^# the Lions! I’ve been sick of them since they beat the Colts in back-to-back Super Bowls.” All legitimate complaints, perhaps, but nevertheless worthy of a little examination; after all, it is certainly no hyperbole to emphatically state we won’t be seeing another team like the present-day Lions for decades to come. Maybe never.

At the heart of it and start of it, of course, was Bill Parcells, a.k.a. The Tuna, a.k.a. The Fish That Saved Detroit. Seemingly a one-man answer to the conundrum of “Do great men make history or does history make great men?” Parcells was somehow wooed out of his 1999 “retirement” to serve as Lions general manager by the Ford Family in 2001.

And of all the glory, of all the personnel moves and decisions that have made the champion Lions, Parcells’ inking of his John Hancock on a Detroit contract was surely the key. Though at first seeming a bit of an ill fit – after all, the Ford Family hardly came across as the type who’d allow grocery shopping on their dollar – Parcells managed to wow the Fords time and again to the point where the early “There may be a bit too much individual control over certain elements of the organization” comment was eventually forgotten and Lions ownership settled into the background, as befits an NFL front office.

The smartest move Parcells made was as much a no-brainer as the Tuna’s hiring itself: Just as he had done when moving from the New England Patriots to the New York Jets, Parcells again brought along much of his ultra-loyal coaching staff, including the Dark Lord And Master Himself, Bill Belichick.

Certainly Belichick has received more than his share of hype and kudos for the five Super Bowls he’s coached over in Detroit and RF365 is not about to start up a “Fire Belichick” or even a “Criticize Belichick” bandwagon, but the truth is that Belichick started with a pretty decent Lions team: In 2000, recall, Detroit might have made the playoffs despite the midseason retiring of Bobby Ross, but for a spiteful last-second field goal from the Chicago Bears. (Imagine how NFL history might be different if that December kick goes wide right ...)

Parcells and Belichick began with the sort of no-name defense that today we know Mr. Hoodie loves: Guys like Luther Elliss, Marquis Walker, Tracy Scroggins and Bryant Westbrook were the first unheralded defenders to up their game and become acknowledged All-Pros during the new Motor City regime. Special teams, a Belichick specialty in those early days, were brilliant behind certain Hall of Famer Desmond Howard.

And the offense? Well, it’s getting harder and harder to recall the days when low-watters like Charlie Batch and James Stewart were Lions statistical leaders; indeed, the memories of the late 1990s faded almost instantly – especially in Detroit – as Barry Sanders was coaxed into a comeback an incredible two years after retiring from a Lions team then apparently committed to losing. What Parcells and/or Belichick actually said to the man is lost to history (rumor has it that a deal at the crossroads was involved); what will be engraved in Canton once the All-Time Greatest is inducted are Sanders’ two Super Bowl MVP awards, not to mention his Comeback Player of the Year – the all-time understatement for a 2001 season in which Sanders could well have been league MVP over Kurt Warner. (Damn those St. Louis voters ...)

Though, too, it can be said that Tom Brady has made it easy for Parcells & Co. The constantly ubiquitous Madden cover boy may well lead the league in passing five more times before all is said and done. After spending a career assembling teams on grass, Parcells must’ve found the ultra-quick turf surface in Detroit a virtual breeding ground for bloated passing statistics; it doesn’t take a genius to draft, sign or otherwise obtain a few fleet-footed wide receivers – e.g. Bernard Berrian, Javon Walker, Torry Holt and ultimately Randy Moss – and turn the game into a track meet with an arm like Brady’s pitching footballs all game long.

But it’s worth rewinding a bit. Consider: Brady, Berrian, Walker: All draft picks, all developed in the Parcells/Belichick system. And perhaps all worth less outside the Lions; witness the drop-off in Walker’s stats since he got with the Seattle Seahawks in 2005. After talking a barrage of criticism in 2002 for trading up into the top 10, only to take a wide receiver – incidentally, who’s willing to confess these days that they thought Batch for Walker was an idiot ploy? This writer (ahem) saw the genius in the moves back then (a-HEM!), believe you me (cough, cough) – the Lions' brain trust has made the team a force to be reckoned with during the draft,

Just look at how it’s all shaken out (three-year post-draft minimum applied): Brady in Round 6, 2000. Walker, Round 1, 2002. Eugene Wilson, Round 2, 2003. Asante Samuel, Round 4, 2003. Berrian, Round 2, 2004. And 2005, wherein many an NFL franchise took an oh-fer for the draft and the first round was a disaster (Alex Smith, Cedric Benson, Mike Williams, and the immortal Erasmus James, just to name a few choice distractions), the Lions managed to build for the future with players of immediate impact: Logan Mankins, Frank Gore, Nick Collins and Trent Cole were all called by Detroit Lions Football Inc. that weekend.

Today, the Pistons’ imminent NBA title is arriving just days (so it seems) after the Red Wings victory parade’s confetti was swept away. Months removed from playing a single down of the 2008 NFL season, the Lions are again prohibitive favorites to appear in the Super Bowl, potentially giving the Motor City its sixth Lombardi Trophy to put on the shelf alongside those Stanley Cups, NBA championship trophies, whatever they call the WNBA title, etcetera. Despite the stupidity of the latest ESPN contest, Detroit may indeed today be considered Titletown USA.

Eight years after Parcells changed the fortunes of a franchise and scrawled a fair bit of sports history, it all seems so clear it was meant, in some odd fateful way, to Have Been This Way. Some claim the Fords hadn’t even considered anyone else for the job; one fanciful rumor persists, claiming that the Family was all set to hand over the GM seat to CBS’ talking head Matt Millen (!) before Parcells snapped it up.

What can stop the Lions in 2008? Search me. After numerous tactics applied on the field, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was recently desperate enough to try and drum up a scandal which may have become known as Spygate if not so obviously a paranoid delusion of a bitter man twice beaten in the NFC championship by the object of his fury. The darker minded among the league’s other 31 markets may even be wishing that Jones’ claims were founded, that the universally despised Belichick would be found guilty of cheating, and that perhaps another franchise might have a shot at the title.

But no. Instead, it seems inevitable: We’ll see the Lions in Super Bowl XLIII. In fact, if you look back far enough, it’s seemed inevitable ever since the Fords chose so wisely all that time ago.

Peering past the gridiron and into alternate dimensions throughout the year at RealFootball365.com
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's ...
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