Lions rocked by Gucci-gate

By Os Davis  |   Wednesday, September 03, 2008  |  Comments( 5 )

Detroit Lions
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Getting as close as he ever will to playing in Honolulu, waived running back Tatum Bell reportedly thieved two Gucci bags once given to new Detroit Lions signee Rudi Johnson as a Pro Bowl gift.

Commentary: In a scandal that is sure to shake things up within an already tenuous Lions offense, Bell reportedly violated what was a positive relationship (yeah, surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre) with Johnson, who was coming into Detroit as the failed halfback’s replacement: "What makes this crazy is that I've talked to him after games, and I talked to him a couple hours prior to this,” said Johnson. “I guess it was before he found out he was going to be released."

The actual inclusion of Bell with the intention of his playing for the 2008 Lions has been something of a mystery from the go, as Bell’s story with the team has been bad luck from the beginning.

Lions followers (I know you’re out there; I can hear you breathing) may recall that Bell was acquired in the 2007 offseason in order to help cover a paucity in the running game thanks to Kevin Jones’ 2006 injury. Jones came back sooner than expected, however, and a petulant Bell, dropped to No. 2 in the pecking order, sat out most of last season.

Stunningly, Bell re-signed with the Lions for 2008, came out all positive to the media (perhaps because Jones was released as well), and seemed primed for a mini-comeback this season. But Papa Bell settled for the old bag (so to speak) of tricks, producing nothing and busting before the regular season began.

Scant details have been given on the actual model of the bags themselves other than the quantity (two), but we do know that Johnson has not appeared in the Pro Bowl since 2004, so the luggage is at least slightly passé and probably has seen its share of wear and tear (heck, ol’ Rudi brought the things to Michigan as carry-ons from Cincinnati or wherever) – hardly mint condition, to be sure.

The bags were returned to the Lions facility Wednesday, with a confused Johnson stating, “I got the bags back – empty. So he's got a bunch of my underclothes. What he's going to do with that, I don't know. He's got some socks and boxers."

(While one would normally suspect Johnson’s skivvies to become eBay fodder immediately, this seems unlikely, as Bell has apparently yet to hear of such high technology as “security cameras.” Could he possibly have awareness of the Internet?)

Fan pulse: The always excellent Pride of Detroit blog provides tons of details on the unfolding controversy, and even manages to present Bell’s side of the story with a straight face. (Or so we can imagine.) Surely, though, Lions fans are maintaining that nice level of optimism about their guys’ chances in 2008 despite this distraction.

Fantasy football impact: Fantasy owners have to be up in arms about the Kevin Smith/Johnson mishmash in Detroit, with carries certain to be divided pretty evenly in the early going. (Did you handcuff these guys?) But remember that "Seinfeld" episode in which George becomes obsessed with the actor playing Kramer stealing the raisins? Think about how Gucci-gate is going to mess with Johnson’s head as he imagines the terrible things Smith could be doing to his underwear.

Millen watch: Nope, still not fired.
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's ...
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