Don’t panic, Lions fans: The locker room will be fine!

By Os Davis  |   Friday, September 12, 2008  |  Comments( 5 )

Detroit Lions
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The Detroit Lions may have given up more than 300 yards to a no-name running attack and made a questionable rookie quarterback look very good last week. The Lions' offense may have jettisoned the new game plan one quarter into the season and is probably already stuck in pass-pass-pass-punt mode. And this early it seems that a certain quarterback’s annual 10-win prediction is foolishness once again. But everything’s all right in Detroit, folks, because Jon Kitna says the locker room is “tight” and “is going to be just fine.”

Commentary: In eternally seeking the optimistic side of another Lions loss, the team's devoted official Web site gave much cyberspace in the long shadow of the Week 1 post-game to head coach Rod Marinelli’s “forget it and move on” philosophy (whoa, man, deep) in “preparation” for the Green Bay matchup and another outwardly positive but vaguely absurd monologue from Kitna. Highlights follow. (Snarky commentary within the commentary helpfully provided by RF365.com.)

Said Kitna, “This locker room is the tightest locker room I’ve ever been a part of.” (Um, isn’t that a bad thing? Aren't you supposed to be, like, loose in the locker room before a game?)

“[Finger-pointing] is not going to be an issue.” (Of course not: Most humans don’t have enough digits to proper spread the blame for the Falcons game, never mind fingers.)

“Everybody looked at the tape; everybody owned it after the game. I mean, there wasn’t anybody who was pointing fingers one way or another – we all said, ‘man, I wish I’d have done something more.’” (Not as much as your fans did, though, Mr. Kitna.)

“We have good, strong leadership, we have a great head coach who provides strong leadership for us and backs up the leadership in the locker room...” (Um, so who’s backing up assistant coaches like Kippy Brown while taking guff from, say, a quarterback who thinks he knows better after another three-and-out?)

“...and this locker room is going to be just fine.” (Well, it’s good to know that after another 20-point shellacking, there’ll be plenty of hot water in the shower and jock-itch creams in the dispensary for you.)

Fantasy Football Impact: The Packers are high in confidence and high on Aaron Rodgers. The Lions just look high. Start Rodgers, Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, Ryan Grant (who cares if he’s questionable?), the Green Bay 'DST', and the waterboys if your league has a slot for them.

For the Lions, if you’ve got Kitna as a starter, you’re probably one of the Brady-losers out there, so what choice do you have? Wide receiver Calvin Johnson will probably be a monster in losing efforts all year, so keep playing him. As for Roy Williams and Kevin Smith, your guess is as good as mine.

Fan pulse: On a somewhat unrelated note (yeah, surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre), our pals over at FireMillen.com now have a Facebook page with 1,100 members associated. Though seemingly another futile gesture from a site just about as old as ImpeachBush.org (shudder), it seems that all is not lost as Matt Millen appears to be a big Facebook fan himself.
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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