Latest Lions loss leaves writers looking for synonyms

By Os Davis  |   Wednesday, September 27, 2006  |  Comments( 1 )

Detroit Lions
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"Everyone," it has been said, "loves a winner," but in today's world blogging, chatrooms and mass-media everyone loves to hate on a loser almost as much.

Case - no, textbook case - in point: the Detroit Lions and their hope-crushing loss at the hands of the, um, underachieving Green Bay Packers on Sunday. Though some positives (e.g. the amazing play of rookie Ernie Sims, the emerging potentially game-breaking talent of Roy Williams) can be noted, the Lions were simply outplayed in essentially all aspects of the game.

And this on a day when the city's Tigers were clinching a playoff berth over in America's other sport. Indeed, at least two reports claimed that the baseball score produced the single loudest cheer at Ford Field during the Lions' game.

Such a convincing, symbolic loss from such a perpetually disappointing team is a true test for the would-be scribbler on the world of professional football. Seriously, how many adjectives are there for "poor," "weak," and most importantly, "again"? How does the sports journalist in NFL land fill column inches with weekly reportage of a near 50-year norm? It's a true test of vocabulary.

As long as you're not a fan of the silver-and-Honolulu blue, the dumping on and dishing out of criticism can make for some seriously funny stuff, as one writer tries to outduel the other with limited material on a limited topic.
On television, of course, the succinct is more plausible in game reportage, thereby allowing Michael Wilbon to sum up the Lions' woes on ESPN's Pardon the Interruption with "They're terrible." Well put, Mr. Wilbon, but this doesn't work so well on the page.

An example of succinctness killing the Cat columnist is provided by Rob Parker at the Detroit News. Under the tell-all headline, "Facts and figures don't lie: Lions defense is pathetic," Parker begins his assessment of his guys' off-the-ball with "It's official: The Lions defense stinks." Now come on, who's going to read the remaining 500 words when the summation is already so well given?

(Besides, this writer would beg to differ, again citing Sims' savoir faire as the first-rounder is on pace for 120 tackles. As long as no one informs him he's playing for Detroit, Sims may well bag the defensive Rookie of the Year award.)

In passing, Don Banks over at SI.com, given the luxury of having to sum up the Lions' game in a blurb-style write-up, calling "silly" the "notion that the Lions will be improved under [Marinelli]."

The very funny Mike Gallo over at Espn.com called Jon Kitna out for some post-game silliness in which the QB said that "You saw glimpses of what's coming, but we didn't get it going enough ... We left a lot of points on the field."
Combined with Williams' outrageous claims about the 40-point effort the alternate-universe Lions ran up against the Seattle Seahawks in Week 1, this offense is talking like its scoring 28 points a game when Kitna's first TD pass came this past week. The "issues" these guys appear to be having with what we call reality endears them to the media and public at large little more than going 0-3 to start the season.

Meanwhile, back in Detroit, the Free Press' game wrap was wittily entitled "Fail Mary." Writer Nicholas J. Cotsonika called the loss "another new team low," adding that "Rod Marinelli preached Monday about the necessity for trust, asking his players and the fans to blindly take that leap of faith, knowing full well that the only thing awaiting them is a rough, rocky landing."

Cotsonika seems to be one of the few in the mainstream media to pointed out the glaringly obvious fact that "the Lions can't put a complete game together." In three games, the Lions have not seen a single quarter in which both offense and defense were clicking. This is not the sign of a team which can't gel; it's the sign of a team with glaring holes that can only exploit the most fundamental advantages.

Drew Sharp, also of the Free Press, appears to be the first (this week) to publicly call for the head of general manager Matt Millen, stating that "if [the Ford-family ownership is] not outraged enough now to demand that Matt Millen's team finish at least .500 ... then they're beyond defense even in that area." The echoes of this sentiment are everywhere.

As for the fans, there was an interesting poll taken over at the "world's sports leader" Web site last week. The question asked was "Which is the worst team in the NFL?" Naturally enough, 49 of 50 states went for the obvious conclusion: The Oakland Raiders. Alone on the map like the lone state dissenting in an election landslide was Michigan, a state isolated in its weariness of carrying a losing and possibly hopeless franchise, quiet in its misery while perhaps searching for another way to express, "Oh no, not again."

Everyone loves a winner, but Lions backers must be hating life.

Watch the Detroit Lions (if you can) progress on RealFootball365.com.
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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