New Mexico State Revitalizes Program with Free PB&Js

By Danny Hobrock  |   Wednesday, August 19, 2009  |  Comments( 0 )

New Mexico State Aggies
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While this may look like an article straight out of The Onion, it's actually true.

Clay Travis of FanHouse.com reports that the New Mexico State football team is asking fans to donate snacks for their hungry players. That's right: the New Mexico State football team is asking fans to donate snacks for their hungry players.

It's perhaps the biggest win in recent memory for Democrats arguing for some sort of national financial reform. The recession is even affecting our football players' tummies!

What's the reason behind this after practice charity drive? The Associated Press reports, "New Mexico State’s budget-conscious football staff distributed an e-mail this week asking fans to donate after-practice or late-night snacks for hungry players."

So let's get this straight. After losing your head coach, you name a chemical engineering professor as your interim head coach. You have not made the postseason since beating Utah State in the 1960 Sun Bowl 48 years ago, the longest drought of any Division I school. You haven't finished above .500 since 2002, failing to win even a single game in the 2005 season. There's nothing really keeping fans interested, so to turn things around you turn to the one thing that just might motivate football players: free food.

Of course, they're not withholding the free trail mix and watermelon until the Aggies win. They're merely handing out the fan-made brownies because they can't afford a supermarket run themselves. I bet that'll go down as a winning recruitment tool. "No, we haven't made the postseason since before Kennedy was president, but we can give you a sliced banana after every practice courtesy of the best fans in the nation!"

Not only is this embarrassing and humiliating if I'm a player on a team that is asking the fans to feed me, but it's dangerous as well. As Travis points out, "how long could it be until a fraternity at New Mexico puts the pledge class up to loading snacks with ex-lax and delivering it to the Aggies?" There's also the very real possibility that the Dunk-a-Roos they're eating contain some less than appetizing ingredients. College football fans are among the most passionate and diehard in the world (next to soccer fans), so who's going to take the first bite when that bucket of oranges shows up at practice?

By saving money and enlisting soccer moms to drop off a second case of granola bars on their way to pick up their own kids from practice, the Aggies are probably doing more harm than good. Whoever thought this was a good idea, and apparently first-year coach DeWayne Walker is on board with the potluck, must see something that the rest of us don't. Painting yourself as too poor to feed your team is a lousy way to attract any top recruit to your school. Having failed to win more than they lost the past six seasons, maybe things can't get much worse. Or maybe the free PB&Js;will help.
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