RF365’s odds on the odd

By Os Davis | Friday, May 16, 2008 | ( 3 )

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After a week of ostensible Spygate closure and the Baltimore Ravens’ creation of the perfect distraction to begin their 2008 campaign, the virtual lines on NFL futures naturally were abuzz with activity.

In this week’s insider tip sheet, RealFootball365.com takes a look at some of the lesser-known proposition bets (heck, they’re so little known, you might say we made ‘em up) out there. And if that counterperson in Las Vegas laughs when you try to play these lines, remember: He or she is not laughing with you, he or she is laughing at you.

As always, these lines are for amusement purposes only. RealFootball365.com does not condone gambling of any sort, except for harmless legal forms such as lottery tickets, office pools, stock market speculation, casino blackjack, etcetera.

The starting quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings in Week 1
Tarvaris Jackson: 1/1
Gus Frerotte: 3/1
Brooks Bollinger: 7/1
John David “Yes, I’ve Heard that Beastie Boys Song” Booty: 10/1
Brett Favre: 1/1
Vinny Testaverde: 267/1

Leader in receiving yards for the Minnesota Vikings in 2008
Bernard Berrian: 8/5
Ah, who can tell?: 8/5

In 2008 season, the Minnesota Vikings’ passing game will get
250 yards or fewer per game: 2/1
250 yards or fewer: 3/1

Penalty to be assessed Marvin Harrison
NFL gives suspension of four games or fewer: 3/1
NFL gives suspension of more than four games: 4/1
NFL levies a fine: 3/1
Any combination of NFL suspensions and fines: 3/2
Prosecution in court of law: 5/10 (but with chance of parole in 3)

Pacman Jones will soonest
Be reinstated to the NFL: 3/1
Be arrested again: 4/1
Establish a relationship with his professional savior, Vince McMahon: 7/1
Establish a relationship with his personal savior, the Lord Jesus Christ: John 3/16:1

Brian Urlacher’s holdout from the Chicago Bears in a contract dispute will last
Through mandatory workouts: 1/3
Through training camp: 3/1
Into preseason: 20/1
Into the regular season: 30/1
Too long, as far as the 2008 Chicago Bears are concerned: 1/1

The Baltimore Ravens will finish the 2008 season
With fewer than eight wins: 2/1
With eight wins: 5/1
With more than eight wins: 17/2
Cast as the squadron in the remake of "Paths of Glory" (that's the Kubrick/Kirk Douglas film): 1/1

Matt Walsh’s next profession
Golf pro in Hawaii: 1/1
Cast member of "The Surreal Life VIII" with Phil Hellmuth, Randy “Macho Man” Savage, Pam Dawber and Pacman Jones: 4/1
Any television project also involving Terrell Owens: 7/1
John Daly's caddy: 10/1

Next event to happen
Baltimore Ravens Football Inc. immediately signed to reality series contract by HBO: 5/2
Bill Belichick establishes relationship with his personal savior, the Lord Jesus Christ (Patriots subsequently go 3-13): 10/1
Reggie Bush's next multimillion-dollar endorsement deal: 14/1
Joey Harrington's next start at quarterback: 20/1
Arizona Cardinals win Super Bowl within the next 20 years: 1925/1
Los Angeles Cardinals win Super Bowl within the next 20 years: 2000/1
Cardinals, based in any other city, win Super Bowl within the next 20 years: 2500/1
Os Davis named Sportswriter of the Year by any national organization: 9,999/1
Hillary Clinton's first term as President of the United States: 10,000/1
Flavor Flav wins Emmy: 15,000/1
Matt Millen's firing from position of Detroit Lions general manager: 38,617/1
Specter's threat of leveraging the antitrust exemption ever coming to fruition: 10,000,000,000,000/1

RealFootball365.com does not condone gambling of any sort, except for harmless legal forms such as lottery tickets, office pools, stock market speculation, casino blackjack, etcetera.

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	About Os Davis Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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Comments: 3 | Sign Up View all comments


	No.1	08:20 AM 05/17/2008

	The Stallone/Pele film was Escape to Victory.It was....how can I put this.....sh!te.


	No.2 everending	08:07 PM 05/18/2008

	Flavor Flav's not going to win an Emmy? Come on. His acting skills are impeccable. I mean, he is acting, right?


	No.3	10:21 AM 05/19/2008

	Os Davis named Sportswriter of the Year by any national organization: 9,999/1 this should have said: os davis being asked to...