RF365’s NFL coaches power poll

By Os Davis  |   Tuesday, September 30, 2008  |  Comments( 5 )

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With one quarter of the NFL season gone, heads are rolling like a Joe Flacco fumble; time for RealFootball365.com to whip out the ol’ barometer and apply it to those still standing.

Through hard analysis of both past (but not too far gone) achievement, present status with his team and the ever-elusive what-have-you-done-for-me-lately factor, RealFootball365.com presents an attempt at a logical, objective, noncontroversial look at the league's head coaches.

(Well, two out of three ain’t bad.)

And so onto the poll!

1. Tom Coughlin, New York Giants. Back-to-back coach of the year awards for Coughlin? Heck, if the Giants finish second in the NFC East without their defensive megastars, Coughlin’s got RF365’s vote.

2. Jeff Fisher, Tennessee Titans. Again demonstrating why he’s the longest-tenured of any NFL coach; did you have the Titans making the playoffs this season? Yeah? Without Vince Young?

3. Jack Del Rio, Jacksonville Jaguars. More beat up than the Giants, luckier than the Broncos, more anonymous than whatsisname who’s now head coach in Oakland, and potentially your 2008 AFC champions: Del Rio’s got these guys running on smarts and willpower alone, it seems.

4. Jon Gruden, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. As the video-game version of Madden might say, “He’s making the right calls at the right time.” Plus, Gruden has a better-run Tampa 2 ‘D’ scheme than any team in the NFL right now and looks better than anyone else in the NFC South.

5. Sean Payton, New Orleans Saints. Now there’s the Payton of 2006! Sorry about that defense ...

6. Wade Phillips, Dallas Cowboys. It's a bit hard to discern how much of Phillips' job consists of cheerleading and how much of actual coaching; we'll soon find out with T.O. simmering. Game plan for Cowboys playoff opponents: Somehow induce human bad-luck charm/team owner to stand on the sidelines at any point in the second half.

7. Dick Jauron, Buffalo Bills. Oh, does this hurt, but the man’s glacial-speed plans are finally paying off. Unfortunately for Buffalo fans, Jauron leads his team to a winning season about every five to seven years when an easy schedule rolls his way. See you again in 2015!

8. Jim Zorn, Washington. The rookie coach learns quickly and has already achieved half the position’s mission statement: Beat the Cowboys.

9. Mike Shanahan, Denver Broncos. Assuming that whole Kansas City thing was an anomaly.

10. Bill Belichick, New England Patriots. Assuming that whole Miami thing was an anomaly.

11. Tony Dungy, Indianapolis Colts. Certain to rise, but the incoming dusk of the Patriots/Colts era is taking the great coach with it in 2008. Until the playoffs, that is.

12. John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens. Few are doing more with less in 2008 than Harbaugh.

13. John Fox, Carolina Panthers. To think that about eight regular-season games ago, Fox was on the hot seat ...

14. Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh Steelers. Last year’s NFL rookie head coach of the year has his guys at 3-1, but it’s a shaky 3-1.

15. Andy Reid, Philadelphia Eagles. Of course, the classic McNabb Eagles second-quarter swoon is due to begin on Sunday.

16. Mike McCarthy, Green Bay Packers. In general, McCarthy looked better last year when Brett Favre was covering his butt.

17. Mike Smith, Atlanta Falcons. Smith has the Falcons beating the teams they’re supposed to, which they weren’t supposed to.

18. Norv Turner, San Diego Chargers. Back-to-back choked-away losses? Keeping an inferior Raiders team in the game nearly throughout? That’s Chargers football under Turner!

19. Eric Mangini, New York Jets. How about the return of the Mangenius! Wins against Miami and Arizona! Excellent!

20. Mike Holmgren, Seattle Seahawks. Holmgren managed to keep his Scotch-taped team on the field before the bye, but only mustered a meager 1-2 record in that time. Holmgren gets an “incomplete” thus far, but penciling these guys in for the No. 4 seed out of the NFC West isn't a stretch.

21. Lovie Smith, Chicago Bears. Lovie’s getting that whole shame-faced look down. Nice to see the Bears not biff the Eagles game, but damn that was too close, wasn’t it?

22. Tony Sparano, Miami Dolphins. The good news: The Dolphins befuddled Master Belichick with an interesting, crazy offensive game plan. The bad news: They've got nothing this week.

23. Brad Childress, Minnesota Vikings. This was supposed to be the year, man!

24. Gary Kubiak, Houston Texans. Here too!

25. Mike Nolan, San Francisco 49ers. The Niners’ 2-2 mark this season brings Nolan “up” to 18-34 lifetime. Hey, it’s still 60 percentage points better than Marinelli!

26. Ken Whisenhunt, Arizona Cardinals. Guess that whole stay-East thing didn’t work out so well, huh?

27. Herm Edwards, Kansas City Chiefs. Assuming that whole Denver thing was an anomaly. (C’mon, tens of thousands of fantasy owners could’ve told you to pound it with L.J.)

28. Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati Bengals. The real miracle from Lewis is that now he’s got Cincinnati fans praying they’ll go his traditional 8-8.

29. Romeo Crennel, Cleveland Browns. Wow. How can FireCrennel.com still be parked?

30. Rod Marinelli, Detroit Lions. Aside from a few mediocre players, Marinelli’s main support, Matt Millen, is gone. Surely Marinelli isn’t long for this world, either. I’d say the end is in sight, but in Detroit the end is never in sight.

31. Jim Haslett, St. Louis Rams. From the Aints to the ... well, how about the Ain't No Mores?

32. Tom Cable, Oakland Raiders. An even breathtakingly worse hire than that of the Rams. Enjoy your brief turn in the big chair, Mr. Cable!
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's ...
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