Desperately seeking NFL ringtones

By Os Davis  |   Monday, December 15, 2008  |  Comments( 0 )

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In the search for original Christmas gifts, yours truly came up with a great idea: downloadable ringtones. An excellent Christmas gift for the hardcore, surely -- a virtual stocking stuffer. Right: I’d buy that for a metaphorical dollar; in actuality, what is downloadable and readily available typically runs about $1.99 per tone. It must be said, however, that the aforementioned term “readily available” is to be taken more than a bit loosely: Numerous variations on logical search terms and combinations turn up little of relevance or ancient Web sites loaded with dead links.

You’d think that, despite the fact that the NFL franchises probably own the rights to the team fight songs and certainly they’d be willing to turn an easy buck by making cellphone ringtone versions available through, say, NFL.com, wouldn’t you? On the contrary, it seems the NFL continues to cull any and all unlicensed (though nearly profitless) material online -- i.e., YouTube fan videos, with an alacrity matched perhaps only by the British Premiership.

What remains online is outdated information like this (though you've gotta love that cold-hearted dis of the Chicago Bears fan), written in 2006. Though something called 3GforFree is reputed in the not-so-reliable Yahoo! answers to offer “tons” of ringtones, damned if I can find ‘em. Worst of all are hosers who run stuff such as this, which claims to sell such ringtones and instead offers to download some toolbar-looking thing that set the klaxons on my computer ringing faster than Commander Ryker calling for red alert. Just don’t do it.

Perhaps the most foolproof place to seek out team-themed ringtones would be the service providers themselves, right? Yeah, surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre. Here’s what most of the searches on AT&T.com get you.

Et cetera, et cetera. So where to turn? Downloading via torrent sites is, reportedly, just as hit-and-miss as downloading that copy of Repo Man or “The Devil Came Up to Michigan.” For those of you into that particular version of virtual fishing, be my guest. Let us know what you turned up. And please let most fans in most markets know what’s up, too, because this Miami Dolphins forum demonstrates the lack of hard information available to many teams’ backers.

NFL.com has a section devoted to downloading ringtones. The bit of NFL.com titled MyWireless.NFL.com offers 29 ringtones in total, but few sound especially specific to the game (or team), and only one team theme – you guessed it, “The Raiders” – is available there. For the proper Raider fan, this is essential equipment alongside the Darth Vader mask and black leather.

A couple of worthy general NFL-themed ringtones are available on the official homepage: You've gotta love rocking the bells with “NFL Game Theme,” or rather you will by this summer when all you have on Sunday is the reminiscing. The “HBO Hard Knocks” theme might also be good for a Kansas City Chiefs fan or for inducing Herm Edwards flashbacks on tailgaters, bar patrons and random passersby.

On the whole, though, who’s going to buy “Comeback” or “Air Attack”? In fact, NFL.com may be doing the greater brand a disservice here by illuminating just how simple the soundtrack to “NFL Films Game of the Week” and the like truly is; seriously, it’s more cut-and-paste than the latest John Williams score.

What else is out there? Well, they’re tough to find, but a few examples are available after a little extensive online trawling – but it’s already been done for you! You’re welcome.

Download site MyXer.com seems to be legit. Consisting mostly of user contributions (in fact, it may well be 100 percent user contribution), some franchises are solidly represented indeed, while others, well, we are still trying to actually determine if Arizona Cardinals fans actually exist or not.

MyXer features some good stuff, including a catchy ditty called “Dah Bears, Dah Bears,” surely hilarious to 31/32 of us and a must-have to the other 1/32. Most teams have a generic offering of the “Let’s Go” sort, “Let’s Go Cowboys!” perhaps the punchiest of the lot. Compare it to, for example, “Let’s Go Eagles!” with its cheesy '70s prog rock riffs: a sluggish embarrassment potentially only made worse by adding a couple of Donovan McNabb samples.

Green Bay Packers” or “The Packer Polka,”" target="_new">“I Love My Green Bay Packers” or “The Packer Polka,” a wholesome little tune written and originally recorded by songwriter Eddy J. Geez, is this, um, wholesome. Seriously, is that a barbershop quartet performing?

The real winners on MyXer, though, are Pittsburgh Steelers fans. Not only is the “Steel Barrel Polka” available, there’s also this great dance trackette. (Incidentally, the Steelers seem to inspire a great number of songwriters – or at least, ahem, songs. Check out this page for a virtual jukebox chockful of black-and-gold hits.)

At least a couple more sites are worthy of note. CellSea.com, another site depending on user contributions, has a few team-themed songs scattered about, but you’ll have to use the search function and even then results are mixed. While you may find a nice gangsta-style rap titled “Crank Dat Cowboys” and 35 seconds’ worth of “The Super Bowl Shuffle” (truly too much, most would agree), you might also be disappointed with an entry titled “Chicago Bears fight song" target="_new">Chicago Bears fight song,” which is just four seconds of medium-quality recording.

Tennessee Titans fans (and those giving them virtual gifts), attention: Stop reading this immediately and click here – The team’s official page has truly got it going on, with five ringtones consisting of announcers’ calls at key points in Titans history. Yes, the Music City Miracle is in there.

Last and yes, probably least, here is where you can download Detroit Lions theme, as performed by Ignite" target="_new">the Detroit Lions theme, as performed by Ignite.
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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