RF365’s Odds on the Odd: Return of Michael Vick edition

By Os Davis  |   Tuesday, June 16, 2009  |  Comments( 3 )

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Thankfully not everyone with one eye permanently fixed on NFL football has dried up for ideas in the desert of the offseason. Those wacky folks over at Bet US bookmakers have come up with something for those on a football-pool jones since February: Michael Vick specialty proposition bets!

Yep, the biggest will-he-or-won’t-he question – now that the Brett Favre-Minnesota Vikings flirtation may finally be over and done with – left hanging as the slow march to the preseason continues has been made more interesting. Here’s a way for the hardcore punter (so to speak) to, um, invest a little money in football on futures other than “NFL Week 1” and “Super Bowl XLIV Coin Toss.”

Today, “Odds on the Odds” takes a look at BetUS’ Michael Vick Specials and has a few laughs at the former Madden cover boy’s expense. For those who might find joking about Vick slightly tasteless, hey, as Vick himself might pun, “Life’s a bitch (so to speak). And now you can bet on her.”

As always, these lines are for amusement purposes only. RealFootball365.com does not condone gambling of any sort, except for harmless legal forms such as lottery tickets, office pools, stock market speculation, casino blackjack, etc.

Team to sign Michael Vick
New England Patriots (cue “Emperor’s Theme”): 3/1
St. Louis Rams: 5/1
New Orleans Saints: 6/1
Oakland Raiders: 7/1
Buffalo Bills: 9/2
San Francisco 49ers: 7/1
Seattle Seahawks: 10/1

Any other NFL team: 3/1
Any CFL team: 6/1
No team: 7/1

For some reason, New England’s reputation as the league’s rehab clinic continues. (Geez, guys, really all Randy Moss did was refuse to play for a loser...) And the Pats picking up Vick makes a compelling argument: Bill Belichick’s Patriots are well known for picking up discards to morph them into aces, need a second- or third-string QB, and last year had no serious in vogue “Wildcat” plays in the playbook. On the other hand, don’t these Patriots kinda prefer, um, smart guys?

After that, the candidates on this list get scarily plausible. Vick to Oakland is getting taken for granted in some quarters at this point, and you can bet (so to speak) that, should the regular season start without Vick on a roster and JaMarcus Russell falter in just the slightest, Uncle Al Davis’ll be calling Mr. Vick. And then watch Jeff Garcia go ballistic.

St. Louis and Seattle seem perfectly possible despite the negative p.r. possibilities, and the still-reviving New Orleans would certainly be touted as ideal for Vick’s Second Chance at Life; whoa, what a redundancy he’d be on the Saints, though, eh? As though the league’s most exciting offense needs this injection.

As for Buffalo, Ralph Wilson’s evil plan to team Vick with Terrell Owens, dooming the 2009 Bills to a 5-11 year and thus ultimately having their fan base beg ownership to leave for Toronto, continues.

“Any other NFL team” at 3/1 doesn’t sound too bad, particularly if Minnesota is in the running. For Vick to play in the CFL, too, feels utterly plausible, but wouldn’t Canadians generally be slightly icked out by the man? “No team” at 7/1 would be the RF365-recommended choice, except that we have no faith in ethics and/or morality in the NFL.

Will Michael Vick’s team make the playoffs?
Yes: 14/17
No: 14/17

So, let’s see. You’ve got the Patriots and Saints among the odds-on favorites (either of which I ain’t buying), followed by the Rams, Raiders, Bills, 49ers,and Seahawks? A no-brainer: Go “no.”

Will PETA protest Michael Vick’s first game?
Yes: 1/5
No: 10/1

Another no-brainer. The only question here is just how interesting the confrontation between PETA folks and fans gets. Imagine the potential photo opportunities before Vick’s debut game as an Oakland Raider ... we’re talking gobs of amazing Internet fodder.

How many games will Michael Vick play in 2009?
Zero games: 7/1
One game: 5/1
Two games: 6/1
Three games: 3/1
Four games: 5/1
Five games: 5/1
Six games: 11/2
Seven games: 6/1
Eight or more games: 5/1

Wow, this one’s not for the faint of heart. Couldn’t they have given us an over/under instead? (Based on these odds, it looks like such a line would be 3.5.) “Eight or more” seems a little sketchy, unless one of the aforementioned Vick suitors gets wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy desperate in the preseason.

Will the NFL give Michael Vick further punishment?
Yes: 1/2
No: 3/2

Really? In Roger Goodell’s Ostrich Football League?

Will Michael Vick be arrested before 2011?
Yes: 1/1
No: 12/17

Dog help us...
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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