And the ninth-best fantasy TE is …

By Os Davis | Friday, August 31, 2007 | ( 3 )

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Ninth. They've got me at ninth. It's a conspiracy, to be sure. Not that I'm obsessed or anything. Unless you count losing sleep over who exactly is the 102nd-best player in the league, not including kickers and defenses, as being obsessed.

Yes, it's draft time for the official RealFootball365 in-house fantasy league and if I want to avoid the butt-drumming that was the mighty Wizards of Os' second half of 2006, I have to perform as general manager and genius. (You know, 30 bits of e-spam about Viagra plop into my inbox daily; why isn't anyone advertising the fantasy football draft-day smart pill? Seems like an exploitable niche to me...) Truth be told, if the holy Chicago Bears 'D' weren't producing bushels of points on a weekly basis for the first eight games or so, my win total could easily have been halved, which would put the winning percentage at ... oh, never mind. Suffice to say, I was still better than the Detroit Lions.

Unfortunately, I find myself drafting ninth, a position based not on last season's performance let me tell you, but instead purely random chance. Meanwhile, the boss/league commissioner the Wizards beat in Week 1 last season fortuitously got himself the No. 2 spot. Completely randomly, of course. Not that I'm obsessed or anything.

After mulling over a couple hundred runners and receivers - never mind crying over the QBs the Wizards'll have to miss in that third round - I've lately been mulling over the tight end spot. More than any other, it is this position that shows the nuances of both the sport itself and the fantasy edition.

The Philadelphia Eagles and New England Patriots are near the top of the league at the position, but not even the Matt Millen of the RF365 league is going to start L.J. Smith or Ben Watson. And a dude like Anthony Becht would be No. 1 at the position on a good half of the teams in the league, but his game just doesn't translate into the hard stats needed (so desperately needed) by the Wizards of Os.

For fear of unnecessarily hyperbolizing, I won't wantonly call this past half-decade a Golden Age for tight ends, but looking around the league shows perhaps, what, a dozen or so name players worthy of consideration to start in fantasy? At least two Hall of Famers - Antonio Gates and Tony Gonzalez - are on the field in 2007. You've got gamebreakers like Todd Heap, Kellen Winslow II and Jason Witten, plus a couple of notable up-and-comers in Vernon Davis and Zach Miller.

On the top-10 list, we all know the top two are beyond question and reproach:

Antonio Gates, San Diego Chargers. Let's see ... 71 receptions, 924 yards, nine TDs. Are you serious? Those are, like, receiver's numbers. By our league rules, this amounted to more than nine points per week last season. Compare such numbers to the prohibitive No. 2 fantasy TE, namely...

Tony Gonzalez, Kansas City Chiefs. Certainly, the bottom will fall out on this Hall of Fame career at some point, but there's no indication that it happens in 2007. Kansas City's offense will put up some points this year and Gonzalez remains the favorite target there. Last year's numbers, exactly 900 yards and six TDs, good for just over seven points per week in RF365 fantasy.

All right, no problem. But because I'm drafting so low, I have to be thinking about a top 10. Under consideration (football gods willing) are guys like:

Kellen Winslow II, Cleveland Browns. This writer's sentimental favorite simply because by dint of his status as last year's starter on the Wizards of Os. His numbers certainly weren't bad at 875 yards and three TDs, particularly as a quasi-sleeper, and some weeks he was near-brilliant. In Weeks 8-10, Winslow averaged over 80 yards per game or, more importantly, more than 10 points per week. And sometimes, he'd disappear, i.e. in Weeks 13 and 14 when he was about the 76th-best TE in the NFL in terms of stats.

Vernon Davis of the San Francisco 49ers is getting high praise from those high on the Niners. Given the starting job, this season is nearly unanimously reckoned to be Davis' make-or-break year and on draft day, they're whispering about his imminent ascent to stardom. We'll see; after all, on the field, Davis can only go as Alex Smith goes, and how much is anyone banking on Smith to shine statistically?

Sadly, Todd Heap, a member of the Baltimore Ravens, won't be around by the time I step up to the virtual mic. Heap turned in a neat 6.5-plus per week last year in fantasy and if Steve McNair can still air it out for one more year, there's no reason Heap can't turn in another 765-yard, six-TD performance.

How about a nine-year veteran as a sleeper pick? Consider Desmond Clark of the Chicago Bears. Catching passes from the much-maligned Rex Grossman, Clark played like a young man; specifically, he played like Desmond Clark of the 2001 Denver Broncos. His 626 yards and six TDs translates out to just over a 5.75 fantasy average. Plus, this Bear never fumbles, totaling exactly zero over the past two seasons. Me, I'd hate to lose by that minus-2 assessed on a fumble, and three Wizards losses were by five or fewer points last season.

Jeremy Shockey, New York Giants. Forget the other stats. Do we get points for psychotic drive?

Jason Witten, Dallas Cowboys. Bet I won't see this guy still around by my pick, either. Witten notched 754 yards receiving, a gee-whiz number considering his QB was Drew Bledsoe for half the season and the Mr. Hyde version of Tony Romo for another one-quarter, not to mention playing alongside a couple of high-maintenance, ball-needing wide receivers. Witten could put in his career year in 2007.

All well and good these speculations, but brilliantly have I discovered the answer. If you take this top-secret, league-winning advice, no payment is necessary; just think kindly of me.

Dallas Utecht, Indianapolis Colts. Peyton Manning found his tight end 67 times last season for 744 yards and four TDs, good for over six fantasy points per week; the only problem is that these impressive stats are divided almost equally between Dallas Clark and Ben Utecht. So I figure at pick No. 9, I'll announce the genetic splicing of Clark and Utecht to form a new superbeing at TE for the Colts and ... what? They won't let me do that? Come on, this is supposed to be "fantasy," right?

Not that we're obsessed or anything all year-round at RealFootball365.com...

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	About Os Davis Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's...
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	No.1 fr8ttrain	10:23 AM 08/31/2007

	Your advice stinks. But then so does your position in the draft. If Utecht is your hot tip, I'll keep my wallet in my pocket! I...


	No.2 McG	04:41 PM 08/31/2007

	fr8ttrain, where are your running backs? and why in God's green earth did you pick a kicker in the first 6 rounds.


	No.3 fr8ttrain	10:42 AM 09/04/2007

	What up McG? I think I took the K around 5th round, and at that point he was about the best player on the board, besides any...