Hello? Calling secret play-caller. . . hello?

By Os Davis  |   Tuesday, November 11, 2008  |  Comments( 53 )

Oakland Raiders
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As far as the non-Californian mass media are concerned, it’s the best-kept secret about the Oakland Raiders, and Tom Cable wants it to stay that way: Another directive handed down to the coaching staff from the front office now has Cable calling plays in lieu of offensive coordinator Greg Knapp.

Apparently coming as a result of Davis recognizing the lack of that thing they used to call offense a couple of Sundays ago at some point in that brutal 24-0 shellacking by the Atlanta Falcons, Davis reportedly – through that ever-garrulous ever-present "source" who keeps providing all the good inside dope to area journalists, this time delightfully referred to “a person in the front office”; the plot thickens – gave Cable the role immediately following the game. Incidentally, does this make Cable the Raiders’ interim head coach/offensive coordinator?

To the best of this follower’s knowledge, eight days have now passed without comment from Davis, Cable, or Knapp on the issue. (If this is incorrect, please enlighten via comment – and supply links!) However, we do have Cable’s take on the offense, in effect Cable’s movie review-like brief on all the problems that weren’t his during Sunday’s limp 17-6 loss to the Carolina Panthers. Bizarre.

Among the Raiders’ problems – none of which had anything to do with the play-calling, mind you – were the following, according to Cable.

• The Raiders’ inability to stay out of those third-and-longs. Well, yes, but those viewers getting that eerie time-loop, deja-vu overload at watching the play-calling are not crazy. Just check out the play-by-play transcription on the Raiders’ side, which rapidly becomes parodic in its repetition: J. Fargas up the middle; J. Fargas left; A. Walter pass short right; S. Lechler punt. While Fargas did look good throughout, isn’t such a game plan a tad predictable?

Oh sure, that little fit-and-start when Andrew Walter woke folks up with a few bombs deep in a series or two. Unfortunately, Javon Walker can’t catch a cold these days and soon it was back to J. Fargas up the middle, J. Fargas left, A. Walter short pass right... Naturally, when “M. Tuiasosopo” entered the game, utter confusion destroyed the extant game plan, which quickly became akin to M. Tuiasosopo sacked, M. Tuiasosopo sacked, J. Fargas up the middle, S. Lechler punt.

Sudden thought: Has there ever been a good NFL quarterback named Andrew?

• Poor pass protection. Heck, the Raider Nation’s been muttering this one collectively for years: We got no line, man, we got no line. Do something about the line. Are you listening, Uncle Al?

• Penalties. The less specific said about this the better, so we’ll leave it at 10 for 83 yards. (And, yes, the refs did miss a call or three against the Panthers on Sunday, but Oakland is lucky Kwame Harris wasn’t getting whistled on every play what with the false starts and facemasks and the holding ...)

But wait a second ... who so memorably stated after the Jets game – the Jets game! – that “This penalty thing is ridiculous” and “We have to address it” and even “it has got to continue to be a point of emphasis. We have to get very detailed in our work and in our ideas toward that”?

Maybe Mr. Cable has too much on his plate now, eh?

• Absence of Darren McFadden because of injury. OK, so there’s nothing to be done about that; my fantasy team again had to have his wounded buttocks on the bench this week. But you know what? My guys won without him and my total player budget is $100. Can’t any workable running game be found with the $733 million (plus signing bonuses) invested in this roster?

• Lack of production by the wide receivers. Wide receivers? The Raiders have wide receivers? Maybe Cable should just call the "Wildcat" formation with Zach Miller taking the direct snap. That’d confuse ‘em!

As for the Raider players, said Cable, "I like the players we got."

Aw, that’s nice. But how ‘bout that play-calling? Maybe this should be approached as though a bad American beer commercial: "Hey, coach, I hear your owner's had a bit too much of that Rocky Mountain freshness and appointed you in charge of play-calling.

Cable: "Getting that attention is good."

"So, uh, as we wait for the refrigerator to eerily change the color of my aluminum can in the vain hopes it'll make the stuff drinkable, let me ask: How's that whole interim offensive coordinator thing working out for you?"

Cable: "...golly, penalty here, penalty there."

"Dude, who says 'golly' these days?"
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's ...
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CommentsComments: 53  |  Sign Up  View all comments
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No.1
DocsRaiders		02:32 AM
11/11/2008
At this point, doesn't really matter who calls the plays. The offensive line sucks, receivers suck and JR is still learning the ...
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No.2
RaiderSensation		02:54 AM
11/11/2008
I find myself strangely short on words when it comes to the Raiders. We've been through every possibility...ad nauseam, I might ...
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No.3
Paul		03:50 AM
11/11/2008
Winning is a wonderful feeling and let the freedom ring loud and dominate the defeated troubled mind of one, I just know the ...
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