It could be worse, Raider Nation, so always look on. . .

By Os Davis  |   Thursday, December 04, 2008  |  Comments( 26 )

Oakland Raiders
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If life seems jolly rotten /
There’s something you’ve forgotten /
And that’s to laugh and dance and smile and sing /
When you're feeling in the dumps /
Don't be silly, chumps /
Just purse your lips and whistle /
That's the thing /
And /
Always look on the bright side of life /
Always look on the light side of life, etc. – Monty Python, The Life of Brian

Like those poor crucified nebbishes of comedy lore are the 2008 Oakland Raiders and their fans. In a pitiful near-limbo, they await the end with their hands tied, helpless to avoid their fate. And yet, all can seem optimistic for the nonce if only those from the Dark Side would just always look on. . .

But never mind that. Things, my friends in Raider Nation, could always be worse. A reason for larger-scale optimism heading into a spoiler-only game against the San Diego Chargers is here: To wit, a list of Raider bygones who could have compounded the troubles of the 2008 team and beyond. Here’s a bunch of guys you've gotta be glad aren’t Raiders anymore.

(And if this all feels a bit heavy on the schadenfreude for those outside the Raiders camp, hey, let’s ease that Oakland suffering some, all right? Feel the pain.)

Jerry Porter. Sometimes a career downturn is simply a career downturn. Common “wisdom” had it that Porter, to turn 30 last summer, was still a stud and would blossom playing for any team which, well, actually had a viable shot at playoff contention. After inking his John Hancock on a Raider-like six-year, $30 million contract (including $10 million guaranteed), Porter’s first public reaction was to undergo hamstring surgery. In 2008, Porter has played in six games, has recorded 10 receptions for 154 yards and one TD for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Hey, think he’ll ever be up to 2004 level again? Nah, me neither.

LaMont Jordan. Appeared to be, if not the savior, at least a viable second-half halfback for the New England Patriots’ revolving door of a running game after helping eat much game clock with 11 carries in a win over the New York Jets in Week 2. However, just when Jordan was getting himself established in a key niche for the offense, he was listed as questionable for Week 6, has seen no action in eight games and probably won’t play on Sunday, either. Any of this sound familiar, Raider backers?

Stuart Schweigert. Perhaps Al Davis & Co. were too impatient with Schweigert, but perhaps not; if history ultimately shows that the safety is done in the NFL (and playing for the Detroit Lions is about one half-step above in status), Schweigert’s career will be defined by a hell of a brief story arc. The almanac summary looks something like this: Drafted in the third round in 2004 by the Raiders; contributed initial three seasons of 52, 87 and 107 tackles; injured during the 2007 season, lost starting job to Hiram Eugene, further buried on depth chart with Gibril Wilson signing; released by Raiders in offseason 2008; Schweigert could not stick on Washington or New York Giants' rosters; signed with then 0-10 Lions on Nov. 19.

DeAngelo Hall. Two interceptions for Washington or no, Hall is still showing through three games just how overrated he was coming into 2008: maintaining the slack coverage, disdaining the tackle unless necessary, and ever capable of the token or two personal foul call per game. Even if Hall eventually re-blossoms into Pro Bowl-level player, his attitude was despicable (or at least unworkable with Uncle Al’s own) enough to have elicited the hasty excision. You wonder if Hall’s departure from Oakland will ever be lamented, but it seems doubtful.

Official RF365 prediction: Oh yes, the Chargers game. The Justin Fargas/Darren McFadden combo should do well enough against the average San Diego run ‘D’, while Zach Miller should have a huge, fantasy must-start week: Last time against the Chargers, he went for 95 yards and a TD on five catches.

Let’s see. . . the visiting team carrying a 10-game losing streak versus the propensity of Norv Turner teams to implode in the clutch. . . the unthreatening Raiders pass offense versus the NFL’s second-worst pass defense in terms of yardage and touchdowns allowed with an opposition QB rating of 97.8, thereby potentially temporarily converting JaMarcus Russell into something halfway between Drew Brees and Kurt Warner. . . tough call. Ah, what the hell? Oakland Raiders 21, San Diego Chargers 14.

And always look on the bright side of life. . .
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About Os Davis

Os Davis has taken a twisted route to get to RealFootball365.com in his nearly 17 years in professional writing, working in any number of capacities in the sportswriting, news reporting and film criticism worlds. In print media, Os has served as editor at a few publications, including Albuquerque's ...
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CommentsComments: 26  |  Sign Up  View all comments
No.1
Spawn		02:03 AM
12/04/2008
I have no idea of what to say about this......I know one thing that is certain is that all of these guys are glad that they are ...
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No.2
02:57 AM
12/04/2008
you know what spawn? who gives a phuck what you or os have to say about this....who the hell cares if they are glad they are no ...
No.3
Spawn		04:10 AM
12/04/2008
You know what. Franchise, I do actually have a team to root for. But I just happen to know what the hell I am talking about when ...
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